How To Set Up a Language Exchange - Prepare for Success

Last week I talked about how I went about finding somebody to chat with but didn't break it down too exact on the details. This week, I'm going to get pretty specific on what I did. This is going to center around the first time I chatted with my friend, Jing. I had just learned of italki and was encouraged by a polyglot, Benny, that I follow a lot to use italki as a means of finding a language exchange partner. I posted a short entry in Chinese introducing myself and very shortly after posting it received a correction from Jing. I messaged her and thanked her for the correction. I then asked if she would be interested in a language exchange. She said yes and we started to prepare our first Skype call.

One thing that really helped me prepare was laying out a conversational outline. I sent her a message basically saying, "For this conversation we are going to talk about these topics......once those are done, we will be done."

1. Self-introduction
2. Family
3. Work/School
4. Hobbies

This allowed me an opportunity to do a few things:

• Prepare specific vocab and questions
• Be prepared of what to listen for from her
• Have an easy way to keep the conversation flowing
• Have an easy way out when suddenly the conversation stalls

When the time came for this call, I was terrified. When she said she was on Skype and ready, I still just sat there and stared at the computer. It took me a couple of pep talks to even push the call button. What happens if I literally can't understand a thing she says?! What if EVERYTHING I say is wrong???? This could go horribly wrong. What if she laughs at me? I finally mustered the courage to push that button and I couldn't be happier that I did. I got started by introducing myself and my family. Obviously, there were a few times that we had confusion but we were talking in Chinese. My confidence sky rocketed from this call. There were three moments that happened during this call that really stuck out for me:

1. I really believe in learning your own vocabulary so that you can say what you need to say. For that reason, I know how to say Mechanical Engineer which isn't typically taught very early on in any Chinese course. As Jing was introducing her family, she said her brother was also a mechanical engineer and I understood her!!! I couldn't believe that I actually would be able to.
2. While we discussed our hobbies she mentioned that she likes to go see movies and followed by asking me if I did as well. I said a Chinese phrase which means "a little" that I had learned and it actually worked in the situation. She then asked me why and luckily I had learned how to say "it's too expensive" from one of my coworkers so I could tell her why. We both laughed and it was extremely satisfying to be able to laugh with somebody while discussing something in their language.
3. As we neared the end of the conversation I asked her if she wanted to speak in English. She said something that I couldn't understand and we had to clarify briefly. Basically she had asked that next time we try speaking English. To know that she was also nervous about speaking another language was an extreme weight off my shoulder. This meant that I wasn't the only person that was terrified of this situation.

I got off the call with so much excitement that I was running around the apartment; I had an actual conversation in Chinese! Was it perfect? No, but did we have a real chat? Yes! I was so excited that we quickly exchanged WeChat (Chinese messaging app) information and have been in touch ever since.

The big thing was that we planned for the conversation. As you get better at conversations it is easy to improvise but when  you start out you need a plan. Making a structure can really help creating success during that first conversation. You also have to recognize the smallest of successes, even if that means celebrating that somebody responded positively when you said, "Hello."

Currently, I have been stalling my first Arabic conversation because I want you to be able to watch it go down. I don't expect it to be pretty. There will likely be a lot of confusion during it. The problem is my current setup, when I tested it to record a Skype call, completely froze up and didn't work. I'm researching a few options and I fully intend to have a video next week of my first ever call. My progress is going well. I have been recording myself talking about myself and my hobbies. The phrases are coming better and I've now been able to ask if you like something in Arabic. Celebrating the small successes along the way are key.

For now, here is a video of me touring my apartment. I think it shows very well that certain phrases and words have become comfortable for me because I use them everyday. Things that are important to you will become easier the more you use them so learn what you need to learn.

Until next time.